Making Right Decisions in life without influence from the Technical Doubting Thomases—By Gachoka Moreys

“People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.”- Norman Vincent Peale.
Have you ever had such a great idea but after sharing it with your friend(s) you discard it for good, regrettably later on in life you find the same idea that you had some years back is worth a million dollar business? This mostly happens due to influence of technical doubting Thomases ill advice. If you believe in yourself and truly believe you can achieve, don’t then broadcast your ideas to every Tom, Dick and Harry because they will leave you a disappointed (wo)man. Most of our dreams go to waste due to our friends’ advice. Whenever you consult those people you regard as your friends be prepared to listen to their opinions but never ever take their opinions as the true gospel. Always have an advisory opinion. From my little experience, I listen to everybody’s opinions and views but I only consider my mentors advice. The reason behind this is because most of my friends are my age-mates who regard our competition more than our growth. I usually take my mentors advice seriously more than my friends’ opinions since my mentors have more extensive experience in their fields of work.
The technical doubting Thomases play an important role in our growth if and only if we are able to manage them; otherwise you become water under the bridge. They question everything we do and every decision we make, they even ridicule us. The only time they appreciate you is when you share a glass of fermented barley together. That’s when they smile and praise you. They are technical doubting thomases since they tend to give advice based on practical impossibility. Their reason lies behind failure related to other people. Consulting such people concerning any planned venture leaves one more confused than (s)he was. In his Rich Dad Poor Dad book, Robert Kiyosaki explains how his poor dad used to tell him that he won’t ever be rich. On the other hand, his rich dad used to encourage him by telling him that “there is a difference between being poor and being broke, the latter being temporary while the former being permanent.” One dad would tell him that “the love of money is the root of all evil.” While the other would tell him that, “the lack of money is the root of all evil.” In my own case I also got stuck in my own goals due to influence from my close friends who used to advice me that I was still young to venture into such big dreams like starting my own company immediately after completing my first degree. Without knowing it I concentrated more on listening to them than listening to my inner voice. The moment I realized that I was heading to the wrong direction, I was already very stuck and in debt crises. I had to do a very broad about turn without listening to them. I don’t want to conclude that it’s bad to have friends and to seek their advice, but always remember that fake friends are like shadows, they stay close to us while we are in the sunlight only to leave us immediately as we step into the darkness. You are the only driver of your own destiny. You have the accelerator pedal, brake pedal and a gear to engage forward or backwards. It depends with you which pedal you want to use more.
After being asked by a journalist if he considered himself a failure after trying about one thousand times, Thomas Edison replied that he knew one thousand ways that can’t work. Sometimes it’s imperative to learn through your own experience. If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you will fall in someone else plans, usually plans for your failure.
I have a very good friend of mine who asserts that I tend to fail more than I succeed, reason being that many of the transactions we entered together tend to fail, but I always remind him that experience is not gained while one is asleep. I also consider him just a friend who through his assertions makes me more determined. As a result I tend to think more to prove him otherwise and in the process I tend to discover more islands which I could not have discovered if I stayed on the shores. Until we start believing in ourselves, until we allow our own conscious self take control, until we remove the technical doubting Thomases out of our life’s databases, we won’t succeed. We don’t need some of our friends to make it in life. I remember my former biology high school teacher’s lesson on reproductive system about ‘a million sperms swimming in an ocean and only one succeed to fertilize the egg; and that’s you.’ You are unique. You were born alone (if you are not Siamese twins), and only you is holding the key to your destiny. Life is about following your heart and doing what is considered morally upright without considering what your friends will say.
Fulfilling your full potential should be you daily focus. One second wasted disorientates your destiny. Surround yourself with like minded people and especially people you do not share similarities like age, education, background etc. These will make you anxious to want to gain interests to your colleagues. In the process you will sail to new waters. As Brian Tracy once said, “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” Personally I have the habit of smiling to everything said. I even find myself smiling where I am not supposed to smile, the reason behind this is I never take things the way other people want me to be, but I take everything the way I consider it right to myself. Sometimes my friends consider myself as a hardliner, but I never mind so long as I express my views. Since the time I realized that I used to let my friends to make vital decisions thereby influencing my goals, I changed my attitude and realized that I needed to always take and make decisions without approval from anybody.
Everyday I usually reflect what Charles Swindoll once said about attitude. Our attitude determines our influence towards our friends and vice versa. By changing it we are able to focus more on our life plan. “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude, I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our Attitudes.”
Leave that cocoon of depending on others and soon if not later you will succeed in whatever you do.